Dont try to fix me im not broken
by paigey312
Summary: Bella goes through life changing experiences and never finds her place in the world; follow her as she wonders through life! See her ups and downs as she goes... Set in the 1850's T for dark nature
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N i just had this idea when i was chatting to my maytee Steph on msn and listening to Evanescence- Hello, Bot h Steph and hello are my for this story so enjoy)**

Summary: Bella goes through life changing experiences and never finds her place in the world; follow her as she wonders through life! See her ups and downs as she goes... Set in the 1850's T for dark nature

**Don't try to fix me in not broken**

Chapter 1. A normal day in 1850  
Bella's point of view

I woke up for what i though was going to be the best day of my life, it's my seventeenth birthday and my mother Renée and father Charlie are taking me out for a picnic. They are taking me to my meadow, i found it one day when i was riding out on my horse star-light. Of course i didn't tell anyone about it to start with but when but when my parents noticed i was gone more they started to question me. They though i had met a boy and wanted to know where i was all the time. They didn't believe me when i said i was just out riding, so i decided to take them to my meadow. My mother fell in love with it and my father said it was a wonderful place. After that they never bothered to ask why i was out so much they understood the beauty of my meadow.

"Isabella, are you up dear?" my mother called from down stairs, i stretched and got out of bed.  
"Yes mother i am up" i called back down. I walked up to my vanity table when Jessica came into my room. Jessica was my maid she helped me dress and make myself presentable. My family isn't poor we are one of the most wealthy family in the state.  
"Good morning miss, And may i say happy birthday?" I laughed at her i don't know how many times i have told her now.  
"Jessica you don't have to be so formal i have known you for years just call me Bella"  
"Ok then mis- I mean Bella" I laughed again  
"were getting there" She smiled at me and tightened the corset around my waist.  
"Breathe in. 1, 2, 3" she instructed and i breathed in. God i hate corsets but of course mother though it was sloppy not to wear one and highly improper.

Jessica helped me slip on my gown, it was simple, elegant but also said sophisticated. It was sapphire blue, my hair fell into curls and i clipped some up in the back and left the rest down. I had no need to use make up as i was already pale.  
"Your mother and father await you, they are down at breakfast" Jessica said before leaving.  
"Thank you Jessica, you really are the best" For some reason this felt like a goodbye more than a thank you or a birthday wish. I disposed of that though and pushed it to the back of my mind.

As I headed down the stairs to the dining room I was thinking about what mother had said last week, 'On the week-end of your 17th birthday we will be holding a ball, I hope you do find somebody you like, we can't have you getting old and not have yourself a man' I was worried. Yes I am very mature for my age I have always been told that but I'm not ready to find that person and knowing my mother she would probably set me up with some body I don't like just so she can have little grand-babies. I'm not even in my 20's and she already wants grand-children I'm horrified. Just because her and dad were married at 17 doesn't mean I have to be. She had me when she was 18 and there is a fat chance I will have children when I'm 18. Yeah sure I love children there all cute and lovable but now is not the time.

Mother and father were both sitting at the dining room table. Father was reading the newspaper while mother was singing to herself.  
"Good morning mother, good morning father" I said and smiled as I sat in my normal spot and waited for Anne to bring out my breakfast. Anne is one of our kitchen staff, she brings all our food out we have others that work in the kitchen but I hardly see them.  
"Good morning Isabella, happy birthday honey" My father greeted me, came up and kissed me on the cheek, then was back down reading his paper.  
"Good morning dear, happy birthday. Did you sleep well?" My mother pulled me into a hug and kissed my other cheek.  
"Yes I did thank you mother" And with that Anne came from the kitchen with our breakfast. Of course they made me pancaked even know father said it is not very healthy and I shouldn't eat them I still do and he gave up on his lectures.  
"Happy birthday miss Isabella" she said with a curtsy  
"Thank you Anne" I said as she left.

Father said grace and we ate in silence after we finished Anne returned and took our plates from us.  
"Mother, Father are we still riding out to the meadow today?" I asked  
"Yes we are, would you like me to ask Sam to tack up Star-light?"  
"No thank you mother I shall do it, as you know she prefers it when it is I that does it" Mother and Father both know that star only likes it when I that tack her up, she is very fussy and I have owned her since she was a yearling we both grew up together I got her when I was only 7. She is my best friend, I tell her all my secrets and the best part is she can't tell anybody.  
"Mother will you be taking out Ginger?" I asked and she nodded "Father will you be taking out Henry?" I asked again and he also nodded.  
"But Isabella I know how you love the horses but please allow Sam to tack up Ginger and Henry" She always worried about me when I was near the horses, she didn't mind to much when it is just star but any if the others and she worries I may get hurt. I sighed  
"Ok mother I promise to let Sam deal with the other two" And with that I left to the stables down the back of the court yard.

**A/N Thank you for reading (: Love it? Hate it? Let me know**

~Paigey Megan X


	2. Chapter 2

**Don't try to fix me in not broken**

Chapter 2. Star-light  
Bella's point of view

I half walked/ran to the stable block, it didn't take me to long to find Sam he was always around the horses and he wasn't that bad looking. He had come to us from a native family, he is the oldest of 4 brothers and his dad was disabled. So he earned the money for the family and I respect him for that.  
"Good morning Sam, me, mother and father are going out riding today and they want you to tack up Ginger and Henry. I can tack Star-light up myself" I smiled at him.  
"Of course miss Bella. Oh and happy birthday" he held his had out for mine so I gave it to him and he kissed it. He was always the gentleman no wonder he has a fiancé. Sam got engaged to Emily two months back, mother and father thought it was wonderful so they said that Sam and Emily may have the wedding here.  
"How is Emily?" I asked  
"Emily is doing wonderful thanks to your mother and father we don't have to worry about much, she is just looking for a dress"  
"And how is your mother, father and brothers?"  
"They are also doing well thank you for asking miss Bella but I really must get to tacking up the horses and you must hurry to get Star in" I nodded towards Sam and he turned away. I went out to the paddock were Star normally is, I spotted her straight away.  
"Star-Light!" I called and then whistled and she came trotting down to the gate.

She was a wonderful palomino color, her coat was slick and smooth, and she had wonderful movement. When riding her you wouldn't be able to feel her move she is so easy to ride. Well for me that it, last time Sam tried to ride her she didn't want any of it and started bucking until he hit the floor. After that I walked up to her and she just stood there, like she normally would. Mother said that day she was a horrible wild horse that should be taken away. Of course i protested and was ready to jump on her back to prove her wrong, Mother nearly had a heart attack when I lead her over to the mounting step and jumped on. What she didn't know is that I trusted Star-light so I knew nothing was going to happen to me, after that mother saw I was fine with my horse as we have a special bond and wouldn't do either of us any good to sell off my wonderful palomino Arab .

Finally she stood in front of the gate ready to go in, but I wanted a bit of fun. I opened the gate and she followed me to the closest tress stump and stood next to it. I hoped up on the stump and flung myself on her back, she didn't mind though. I lightly kicked her on and knotted my fingers in her main.  
"Come on star" I said with another light kick and she was off, I just hoped mother wasn't down the yard yet. I was in luck she wasn't but Sam saw me.  
"Miss Bella you know it is not wise for you to bring her in like that"  
"Sam how many times have we had the conversation? I won't hurt myself she knows where to go" I said I really didn't see why it was such a bad idea I get in ten times quicker. I dismounted and lead her into her stall went to grab my brushes. I quickly brushed her down as I didn't have to do much she never gets to dirty. I picked her hoofs and brushed the knots out of her main and tail. She was done in no time, I went to my grooming kit and got a mint treat and gave it to her.  
"What a good girl" I rewarded her and patted her faces. It didn't take me long to get her saddle and bridle fitted as she keeps still for me.  
"I'll be back in a minute" I told her and went to see if Sam had tacked Ginger and Henry up. I saw Ginger first, Ginger was a chestnut ginger color, she has 3 white socks on her feet (Socks are the white markings on the lower leg) and a white blaze on her face. (Again it's a marking on the face) She was tacked up and ready to go.  
"Hey Gigi" I said and patted her chest. Sam had just come out of Henry's stall.  
"There all set and ready" Sam said "I'll just go tell your mother and father that there ready" he said.  
"Thank you for your help Sam" I said and went to see Henry as he left. Henry was a pure black Friesian stallion the only white he had was a tiny little spot near the left hoof. He may be a stallion but he's harmless. I think that's why father likes him so much and of course Henry is beautiful. I stood there waiting for my mother and father for just over 5 minutes.

Mother was carrying a picnic blanket while father was carrying a picnic basket.  
"Good afternoon Isabella" My father greeted  
"Good afternoon father, mother" I greeted back to them  
"Is your horse ready to go dear?" My mother asked  
"Yes mother I shall go get her" and with that I went and got Star from the stable and took her out to the yard where mother was now on Ginger and father was mounting Henry. I took her over to the mounting block now my father was finished and mounted.

"Mother, Father are you ready to leave?" I asked as I waked star round to where they were standing, Father nodded at me and set off with my mother not far behind. I laughed and set of too but star was much faster than Henry and Ginger so I didn't have to race her through the forest I could just take a nice steady canter.

**A/N What do yo think? Love it? Hate it?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Don't try to fix me I'm not broken **

Chapter 3. The meadow  
Bella's point of view

I love it in the forest, it's so magical I can just let go off myself and let my emotions take over. It's even better on horseback especially when the horse knows where you are going. Looking ahead of me I can see my mother and father trotting together and talking. They look so care free and in love, I can't see being like that any time soon. Even know I do wonder what its like to be in love, having that special person being there for you when they need you.

Ahead I could see the forest thinning and that could only mean one thing. We have arrived at the meadow, I smiled at myself it has been a week since I have been here as my teacher has giving me loads of reading and work to do. As I entered the meadow I slowed my trot down to a walk and circled the outline as I didn't want to ruin the beautiful flowers in the long grasses. The flowers are in a range of different colour, blues, pinks, purples, yellows, reds, you name it there is every colour you could think of. I had only just noticed that I had over taken my mother and father because I am now in the front. I tied star-light to the tree that I normally tie her too. A few minutes later my mother and father tie their horses up as well. I started thinking something was up. It was the second time today, first with Jessica now with how I feel. As the wind blow my way I shivered, things defiantly felt off but I couldn't put my finger on what it was. I was pulled out of my thoughts when my mother tapped my shoulder.  
"Isabella, dear are you okay? You look as if you have seen a ghost." She said and checked my forehead for a temperature. Yeah maybe I'm ill that might be while I'm feeling a bit off today.  
"Shall we sit down then" I asked and nodded my head towards the picnic blanket that father was now putting down on the floor. She nodded at me and we made our way to the picnic blanket and my father. When we got there my father kissed my mother's hand before she sat down. He ruffled my hair after I sat down.  
"Please don't do that father, you know how I hate people messing up my hair" I said in a grown up voice then laughed he and mother joined in too. They know they I didn't really care about my hair. It was all fun. I wasn't in a hurry to grow up and it looks like my father doesn't think so too. It was just my mother.

"So, Isabella" Here we go again, I looked at my mother to show I was listening. "Have you seen any gentlemen you might be interested in?" I pretended to think and she smiled, I smiled in my head.  
"In fact mother, no I haven't" With that she looked at me disappointedly. Then my father spoke.  
"Well I think it's great that you haven't found anyone yet" I smiled at him finally somebody gets it.  
"And why is that" mother asked.  
"Well I don't want my little girl growing up to soon now do i?" he looked at me in adore. To him I will always be his little girl and I loved that. But once again I felt really bad as if somebody was watching me and yet again I shivered. What the hell is happening to me I mental screamed!  
"I will always be your little girl" I said to him and it brought out a fall blown smile.  
"Shall we eat?" My father asked us. And me and mother nodded in agreement

"That sounds like a grand idea" Came a rough ear splitting voice and a smooth female's laugh. I was scared. I was scared about who has found us. I was scared for my mother and father. I was scared for reasons I don't know about. At this point I have no idea what will happen next.


	4. Chapter 4

**Don't try to fix me I'm not broken **

**Chapter 4. Vampires**

**Bella's point of view**

Nothing seemed right when I saw them. They were moving at a really fast pace, like really fast. My father stood up in front of me and my mother.

"Aww look at that, he thinks he can protect them" the blond male said, there was also another female one with him. She had firey red hair. In the sun it looked as if her skin was shining.

"James. They smell so mouth-watering can't we just do this quick. I also haven't eaten in 3 days" The red head sneered.  
"W-w-what do you want?" my father stuttered  
"Well. In general I want a lot of things but I know that I won't be getting most of them" he smiled at us and repeated "Most of them"  
"So who's first? Would it be the brave funny looking bloke, the posh and prep lovely lady? Or the mouth-watering specimen?"

The red head said. While looking at us all in turn, my father, mother then me.  
"I think we should have him 1st, he seems to be very up for it. And then maybe we can eat in peace" laughed James.  
"James, Victoria what have I told you about playing with our food?" When this was said I jumped because out of nowhere some guy with dread locks came and was quickly next to who I guess was Victoria.

Quicker that I could think James had jumped at my father and bit down, I could hear him scream but could no longer watch this thing take his life. I just started slowly going backward. My poor mother was glued to her spot she looked in shock.

Meters away from me, Victoria was next to my mother. She quickly span her around to face me. Coping what James did and bit down on her neck causing her to scream out in pain as well. I knew I was next. Why would they leave me? And I wasn't wrong. Soon enough the man with the dreads was in front of me.

"Is that your mother and father, my pretty one?" he asked I couldn't speak I had a lump in my throat, and I also felt sick to my stomach. Right in front of my eyes my mother and father were being killed. Before today I didn't know anything so horrible existed in the world. Why this day? I wondered it's my birthday this isn't supposed to happen. I thought.

"It's my birthday. This isn't supposed to happen." I repeated but this time out loud. His laugh was slick and horsed.  
"Your birthday you say? And how old are you today? Little pretty one."  
"I'm 17 today" I replied, thinking of ways to distract him. "Why did you chooses us?"  
"Well my dear, we don't chooses we just kill whom we come across first when we are hungry and I'm terribly sorry but you and your family fit the description." He got close to my ear. "Well I'm not sorry. I'm actually starving and my dear why are you trying to distract me, it won't work. You my dear are mouth-watering."

He licked my skin and a terrible shiver went down my spine. I looked over at star light she was trying to break free. She could see me looking at her and she whinnied.

"This may hurt, just a little." (I know its Jane's line but I love it and wanted it to go in here (: ) He said before his sharp teeth bit into my skin. It caused pain. Really excruciating pain.

But not long after biting me he stopped and dropped to the floor next to me. He started chocking like he was poisoned. Maybe my blood was bad? He just curled up on the grown withering in pain. I felt like doing the same but I needed to get out of here.

I knew my mother and father wouldn't make it and did want to risk getting killed. I know I sound really selfish but I would rather not die today.

As I made my way over to star light she broke free and cantered towards me. She stopped in front of me and laid down. She could see I was in pain. I was grateful she did this as I don't think I could have mounted her now anyways.

As soon as I seated she was up and galloping through the forest. She wasn't heading home but the opposite direction. I don't know why but she was.

I felt so light headed and dizzy from the pain and soon fainted. Even asleep or unconscious I don't know what I was. All I knew is I felt as if I was burning inside. I knew I was still moving and wondering how I hadn't fallen off yet.

Soon we had slowed down and I felt myself slipping backwards and onto the floor. It was hard and cold so I'm guessing rock. But to be completely honest it felt good with the burning I was feeling.

I could hear rain but I wasn't getting wet, I could also hear star's hoof's of the stone and her breathing slowing as she is calming down. I try to stay conscience for as long as I can but darkness palls over me again I can no longer hear anything. The only thing is that I can still feel the burning and it is getting worse.

I want to cry out in pain but I didn't want to scare star away. I had a slight idea what was happening but I didn't want to believe it. But I guess it's better than dying today.

Ok now this is starting to really annoy me. I don't have any idea how long I have been out for but I can only guess it is 2 or 3 days at least. The pain is still with me but it is getting less, which I am thankful for.

All I could think is what can a vampire eat? I don't want to kill humans it feels wrong. The only other source of food well blood I can think of is animal's blood. I am hoping I will wake up soon, and I also hope I don't want to hurt star. After all she has helped me so much. That is if she is still with me.

**(A/N) **

**3 IMPORTANT THINGS TO TELL YOU GUYS! **

**Number 1**

**I have another story up called Forgotten darkness this is a little teaser for it:**

All I knew is that I had to leave, I had to go now.

I ran to my room and got my suitcase and chucked some clothes into it, comfy shoes and some jackets. I grabbed the bag that Alice had left for me and went back down the stairs. I quickly ran through the house looking for a note pad, finally I found one and wrote my last words to my dad.

_Dad,  
please don't blame the Cullen's for me leaving but there is just so much going on at the minute. I want you to know I love you; I loved staying here with you. These where some of the best years of my life. Please don't come looking for me. Love you always._

_Bella x_

**Number 2  
I have made this awesome new trailer for this story and its now on youtube! you should totally check that out as well as it took me ages to edit all into place. **

**www . youtube . com /watch?v=g6hCP6zkMGY**

**if the link doesnt work then there is a direct link from my profile under 'Don't Try To Fix Me I'm Not Broken'**

**AND! Number 3**

**Review! I take forever writing these chapters for you guys and you don't tell me what you think. I know you are reading them coz i keep getting. Emails saying you have subscribed for story alerts Ect. So please review! **

**sorry if i sound all blahh about this guys but i spent all day writing this as i had really bad writers block and i was of school ill aswell. **

**~Paigey Megan! x**


	5. Chapter 5

**Don't try to fix me I'm not broken **

Chapter 5. My new life.

Bella's point of view

My throat was hurting not really that bad, it isn't as bad as the pain I had been in but it was irritating. I could now move but I didn't exactly want to get up. It was weird like waking up in the morning but before the sun rises.

As I laid still I could hear everything around me it was surreal. I could hear some sort of running water; I could hear birds and animals. I could also hear star, she wasn't too far away.

I guess things couldn't last for ever, I have to get up or people will start to worry. Then it hit me, it hit me hard like a ton of bricks. My mother and father were dead.

I had watched them die and didn't do anything about it. It was my entire fault; if I didn't want to go to the meadow they wouldn't have been killed. Or if I hadn't have been born they wouldn't have had anything to worry about. I had killed my parent. I didn't deserve to be alive now.

But if I think about it, I'm not alive I guess I'm very dead. But I don't know why I got to live and not them but I guess that is just fate.

Anyways I can't really just sit here all day, well I probably could but what's the fun in that? Wow I think I'm going mental, I'm talking to myself in my head.

** Skip like 25 years as I don't know what to write -.- **

The year is 1878 and I have been a vampire for 25 years now… And I guess things could be better but I have travelled a lot of the world.

Currently I'm in erm… where the hell is a sign. Oh yeah I'm in Melbourne Australia and its nice apart from in hiding out in the shadow as I have a slight problem with going out in the sun, Problem being I sparkle.

Being a vampire isn't too bad I guess, things got a lot better for me as the years went by. I mean I still miss them but there isn't much I can do about it now the past is the past and I don't see any way of changing it. Well unless I find a vampire who can teleport back in time.

I have met some really nice vampires and some really horrible ones. Probably the nicest was Mr Carlisle Cullen whom I met when I was in England. He had just got away from the Volturi as he didn't like what they wanted him to be. But after I met him I didn't stay long as he was travelling himself he was learning to be a doctor and a really good one at that.

I haven't seen anyone with such a good reaction to blood. I guess I could be the same as I don't like the smell of human blood which is kind of ironic really being as I'm a vampire.

I also met this really nice couple called Sam and Jenna when I was in Alaska, they invited me to join them. I thought about the offer but it was just after the death of my parents and I was moping a lot and plus Sam could feel emotions so I didn't want to bring him down.

Also in Alaska I met Tanya she had been turned about 2 years before me I didn't like her very much. She acted like everything she wanted she must have and of course she recognised me from my family's name. I used Spencer as my last name for 50 years so people wouldn't recognise me. But now I'm back to swan and I'm glad because I don't like using different names.

Eleazar and Carmen also lived with Tanya, although they were nicer than her, a lot nicer. Eleazar used to work with the Volturi but left, he has a power of telling other people of their powers. He told me what mine was; well he told me that I will probably be one of the most powerful vampires ever as my power was unique.

I could pick up any power I like and learn to use it. I have seen other vampires like me but their power is weaker as they can only use the other person's power if they are near them. But with mine I pick them up and then I have it stored and can use it anytime I want or need it.

I was knocked out of my thoughts to a gun shot and a scream. I looked over and saw a girl around my age falling to the floor and blood running from her stomach. She saw me and look at me, pleading with her big brown eye, tears forming she mouthed 'help me'

Really what could I do? If I change her she's doomed to hell if I leave her I will be stuck with guilt. God damn it. I walked over to her and crouched down.  
"What's your name?" I asked

"Joy" she gasped  
"Well Joy I'm going to give you a choice, I can take you to a hospital but you probably won't make it there alive. Or I can change you, but if I do then there is no going back. Because when it starts you will be in pain for many hours and you will probably beg me to kill you but I won't"

I looked down at her, she looked so soft and gentle still pleading with her eyes.  
"Ok now you can choose… What will it be?"

**(A/N ooooo Cliffy.. Sorry people but for the next chapter to be up I need 5-10 reviews and I will try and get it posted sometime this week but if I get less than 5 then I will probably post it sometime next week… so its up to you!**

**Also check out my other story =]**

**And check out my youtube account **

**/Paigesdreams**

**And my other one with the trailer on**

**/paigey312 **

**Thank you for reading and review)**

**~Paigey Megan**


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